Conflict Management

Parent-child conflict, self conflict,parental conflict and more – two educationists and a relationship expert discussed conflicts in various forms and dwelt on how best to manage it before concluding that conflict at times can be essential. Kanu Priya, a conflict management expert as well as an actor, director & television host, likened conflict to salt in cooking. She was in conversation with Seema Sapru, the principal of Heritage School, and Ranjan Mitter, the principalof The Future Foundation School, at an interactive session presented by FLO Kolkata on September 22^nd.

Kanupriya spoke on how conflict and questioning the sterotype can lead to innovation & creativity. ‘Conflict is cool,” added Mitter before explaining how if different perspectives are knit together into a constructive whole, it emerges on top. Conflict that arise from deep rooted fear and insecurity needs to be addressed, was the common consensus.

“One has to face one’s conflicts, not run away from them,” suggested Sapru. She, along with the rest of the speakers, spoke about “good” students and “naughty” ones and the conflicts they face. Some kids are branded as “bad” and forced to live with the tag throughout school life, thus giving rise to teacher-child conflict. “We need to open up to the weakness of students. Teachers cannot let their egoscome in the way,” said Sapru. A good student can be a victim too, she added. “Often promising kids fail to deliver as there is a conflict between expectation and reality.”

The mantra for dispelling negative conflict : LET GO OF LABELS AND EXPECTATIONS. “Be more empathetic,” added Kanu Priya.

As discussion veered towards opposing parent child expectations, the audience were aked to build relationships based on trust rather than rigidity. :We need to train our children in a different way. They must have global understanding and empathy,” Mitter said.

Sapru pointed out how oposing value systems can cause conflicts. “Some parents are not ready to send tehir kids to flashy parties , but the children get upset. They feel isolated from other classmates, if not allowed,” she said. “Parents need to talk to their kids. Build a better trust ststem,” advised Kanu Priya.

From conflicts faced by a protected child when he steps into the adult world to those faced by a working woman and also between parents with different value systems, common issues were discussed with a generous smattering of anecdotes. “Emotional distance is increasing between parents and children. Each party is getting more and more defensive,” said Mitter. The only solution : more conversation & transparency.